Am i slacking ?

Here i stand..Trying hard to put a smile on my face when i pass by the guard. Hiding the sadness in myself. Am i slacking is the question ? Always wanted time for myself to improve and when i have the time than i tend to slack. Today was such a bad day for me. I went to International Marketing class and its a one hour class. The lecturer gave a case study and ask us to prepare for the class today. And guess what...I totally forgot about it and i am the ONLY person who did not prepare for that case. I felt so down right at that moment. My thoughts tend to sway to other place with the question in my mind. What has happen to me? While i was blogging suddenly my mum's msn pop up asking me how am i ? On the way back just now..I really really wanted to tell my mum the incident but i just dont know how to put in a better way so that my mum would not fell disappointed about me. I know she have high hopes on me. My mum's msn came at the right time so i told her everything that happen to me just now in class. My mum was shocked too. And she told me to say sorry to the lecturer. How to ? I just dont have the courage because we are not in secondary school anymore where we ask the teachers for forgiveness. Than my mum pop me another question.. How can u overlook such an important case study ? You watched too much movies. The reason only i know. Is it because of J i am slacking or it is myself that i am slacking ? Who should be blame. No one other than myself.. After this incident.. Am i aware ? Am i awake from my sleep ? OR am i still in dreamland ? Am i a person who only talks and take no action ? Please CLARA ! Wake up ~ Remember your goals and not slack for other things. Always have in mind what is worth it and what is not worth it. Manage your time wisely and let nothing come in control except your ownself !! Is my whole day today ruined ? I hate myself so much .........

Stressed is how i feel....

Now at this moment, stress is the word that reflects my feeling now. I really wonder what is the meaning of stress ? The real meaning ? Am i feeling stress now ? or depressed ? or something else ? Who will know other than myself. Currently at the moment what am i seeking and searching for? Now in the office in this dark room covered with four walls i am inside writing this blog. So many things to be done. So many duty need to fullfilled. Is this a normal feeling ? or am I stress ? When i start thinking about the things that i need to complete. It is like a never ending story. I dunno when it will come to an end. Every day i come into office, exco's reminds me about things to do for Sports Fiesta than Conference than Radiance Illumination than INTIBALL than Installation Night. So many things but which should comes first. I do one and i cannot do the other one. How should i planned my time and work. I feel so stress. This is just about my work. How about my assignment that the date due is tomorrow ? I havent finish ? Not sleeping tonight to finish it ? Next week, I will have another assignment due and presentations to do. When will it come to an end. I can barely take it anymore. The only thing that i have in mind now is how can i survive this hectic moment ? I am barely hanging on. Tears begin to role down as i feel so stress and sick. Just wanting to give up everything. I just cannot take it anymore. How do i overcome this situation ?