Reaching For The Stars

Love To Be Loved By You

2011-08-25T22:42:00.008+08:00

I can't believe I'm standing here

Been waiting for so many years and

Today I found the King to reign my heart

You changed my live so patiently

And turned it into something good and real

I feel just like I felt in all my dreams

There are questions hard to answer

Can't you see…

Baby, tell me how can I tell you

That I love you more than life

Show me how can I show you

That I'm blinded by your light

When you touch me I can touch you

To find out the dream is true

I love to be loved by you

You're looking kind of scared right now

You're waiting for the wedding vows

But I don't know if my tongue's able to talk

Your beauty is just blinding me

Like sunbeams on a summer stream and

I gotta close my eyes to protect me

Can you take my hand and lead me

From here please....

I know they gonna say our love's not strong enough to last forever

And I know they gonna say that we will give up because of heavy weather

But how can they understand that our love is just heaven sent

We keep on going on and on cause this is where we both belong…

Baby, tell me how can I tell you

That I love you more than life

Show me how can I show you

That I'm blinded by your light

When you touch me I can touch you

To find out the dream is true

I love to be loved, I need yes I need to be loved...

I love to be loved by you

Yes I love to be loved by you...

♥ I'll sing this song for my hubby on our wedding day! :)

Try to understand the unspoken

2011-03-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Eoryeodo apeun geon ttok gata
Sesangeul jal moreundago apeungeol moreujin anha

Gwaenchana jil georago wae geojitmareul hae
Ireohke apeun gaseumi eotteohke shwipge natgesseo
Neo eobshi eotteohke salgesseo geuraeseo nan

Jugeodo mot bonae naega eotteohke neol bonae
Garyeo geodeun tteonaryeo geodeun nae gaseum gochyeo nae
Apeuji anhke na saragal surado itge
Andwindamyeon eochapi ussal geo
Jugeodo mot bonae

Amuri niga nal milchyeodo kkeutkkaji butjabeul geoya
Eodido gaji mothage

Jeongmal gal georamyeon geojitmareul hae
Naeil dashi manna jago useu myeonseo bojago
He eojijan mareul nong damirago animyeon nan

Geu manheun shiganeul hamkke gyeokkeot neunde
Ijewa eotteohke honja sallan geoya
Geureohken mothae nan mothae

Its the end

2011-01-16T21:07:00.003+08:00

Today feels different somehow

Living on the edge of a breakthrough

Yesterday’s pain of people’s disdain

Didn’t hurt me as much as it used to

Maybe I’ve found my remedy

Standing here on my stage

Why do your stares look so empty?

Strangers and friends all around

Funny how it still seems so lonely

Maybe not such a tragedy

I don’t wanna have to make pretend

And say what I will not want to

Not just to please you

I won’t be forced to love all who say they love me

But never know what makes me content completely

I'm gonna let the wind blow

Leave the past behind

The memories will do just fine

They'll saturate in time

I’m gonna stand up and walk my life

Not afraid to stumble and not afraid to fall

I’m gonna speak up, I’m gonna say what’s on my mind

Never mind if they don’t hear me

I know the ones who love me

I know the ones who will hold me

Just the way I stand

Just the way I am

I have boxed everything you gave me including my feelings for you into this box & never going to open it again. Hating you is the last thing I will ever do. That is what makes US so different. Goodbye MWKM !! Wishing you all the BEST in your future.

Teardrops On My Guitar

2011-01-09T16:55:00.001+08:00

Just A Dream

2011-01-09T12:13:00.001+08:00

Specially dedicated to you :-

Forgotten

2011-01-06T21:22:00.002+08:00

All alone on a Thursday night

Outside I see the rain is falling

Inside I'm slowly dying

But the rain will hide my crying

And you, don't you know my tears will burn the pillow

Set this place on fire 'cause I'm tired of your lie

All I needed was a simple, "Hello"

But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry

I gave you my love in vain

My body never knew such pleasure

My heart never knew such pain

And you leave me so confused

Never wanted to see things your way

Had to go astray for why was I such a fool

Now I see that the grass is greener

Is it too late for me to find my way home

How could I be so wrong?

Leaving me all alone

Don't you know my tears will 'cause an inferno

Romance of these flames, why should I take the blame?

You were the one who left me neglected, apology not accepted

At me to the broken hearts you've collected

I gave you all of me

How was I to know, you would weaken so easily

I don't know what to do

Forgot the Unforgettable

2011-01-03T19:17:00.001+08:00

You left me, I gave my heart to loneliness

I had thought this would be liberating

What am I waiting for? I'm not living a new life

Missing you is the greatest torment

When I close my eyes, I can hear you breathing

I remain facing your memories alone

Because I can't forget, forgetting you is more cruel than loving you

When I bravely go look at other people's eye-expressions

Unexpectedly, I see my own scars

Unforgettable, there's nothing more cruel than loss

I can't not admit that your embrace is the deepest

I've lost the ability to do things selflessly for others*

I forgot to think of you, in this world without you

Now I finally understand this separation

When I close my eyes, I can hear you breathing

Why do I still remain facing your memories?

I forgot to think of you, in this world without you

Now I finally understand this separation-- I've forgotten you

Tears

2011-01-01T05:17:00.003+08:00

I want to control myself

I won't let anyone see me cry

Pretend that I don't care about you; I don't want to think of you

I blame myself for not having courage

My heart hurts until I can't breathe

I can't find the traces you've left behind

(I can't find the traces left behind yesterday)

Eyes wide open, watching you, though I've no strength

As you disappear at the end of the world

I can't find a resolute reasoning

I will never feel your gentleness again

Tell me, where is space?

There, does it have a limit or not?

So towards the meteors, I'll make a wish

To let you know I love you

I Dream of You

2010-12-24T08:39:00.003+08:00

Heart pain. Exhausted. Tired. I dream of you last night. It was a beautiful dream. Remember my last post I told I was drunk and I message you. I dream that you actually replied through MSN. But sadly you turned down my request. My request was would you give me 5 mins of your time today to let me say a proper goodbye to you.

I was just hoping to be given a change, just ONE chance to hug and say goodbye to you. In the dream, we were still chatting, and suddenly you ask me this question : Would you like to go to Batu Caves ? and you continue by saying this rainy weather its very nice to see the rainbow together from there. I was shocked as I can be. I answered you straight away without second thoughts YES. After that, I was jolted from my sleep & from the dream. I cried non stop. I tried to sleep back to get back into the dreams. But I cant. I just cant. I tried so hard.

Its just A DREAM. And here I am back to reality you're gone. I only have myself.

When I first step into this relationship, I told myself you're going to be different from others. You're going to treat me well. If things is not happening, you will work it out somehow. This is how much I trust you. Maybe sometimes the way I acted towards you show likewise. Maybe I'm not good at expressing myself. Nobody knows. How much you meant to me. Before, now & future. No one would ever understand. 101 friends & family told me to forget about you. If I would to explain they wont understand. Even up to now, I still believe that you're a different person from the others that I have known. If you could remember, last time every time I would wonder and I can't believe that you're actually my boyfriend. To me, you're special.

Now that you're not longer mine to embrace and open for others. Please do let me know if you ever meet someone much better than me. I would give you my blessings. I believe that love is all about sacrificing & hoping that the other party is happy. As long as you're happy everything about me doesn't matter. I'm just a lonely puppy. You deserve someone much better than me.

For you, I will treasure all those past memories.

P/S : I'm sorry that I love you....

Fourth Day Without You

2010-12-24T01:18:00.007+08:00

Headache headache headache. Had too much of booze. Always thought that being drunk can make me forget everything. But one thing I learn today is that when I'm drunk I become more sad & tend to do stupid things like messaging you. Its actually more than four days without you cause its pass 12am now.Went to Brugge, Uptown Avenue just now.

Just to have a look at that place.

I know you'll be going there after your Christmas eve church celebration. You wanted to see the live band. I hope you enjoy it. Guess what I ordered ? Your favorite. I think. I was tempted to take 2 pint.

1 pint of Hoegaarden..

Its kinda heartbreaking going to places where you have been before. Can't see you there physical. Only can visualize you being there and your scent that you left behind. There are so many places that you went before and I usually will ask you this question : When will you bring me ? Its has become my FAQ to you. Tomorrow I have plans too. Going to the Lei Cha @ Rasah Village that you say very nice with one of my bestie. Hopefully I will have a great experience there. Its Boxing Day today !!! Happy Boxing day dear... & Merry Christmas too. Have a blessed and wonderful Christmas. Signing off for today. I'm wasted.

For you, I'm alive.

P/S : I'm sorry that I love you....

Third Day Without You

2010-12-22T22:30:00.008+08:00

Its hard. Never easy. Today is the third day without you. Not a single message. Not a single hello. How are you ? I wonder. I roughly still know what are your plans till this coming 26th December 2010. After that I will totally lost touch with you. Only wondering every minute what are you doing & where will you be. Its time to flash back some memories again.

The first thing that came into my mind when I wrote the topic as third day without you was the 2 emails you send to me when I was away for my Phuket trip. Each and every time if I ever read back those emails I would cry. The meanings are so deep that I thought it would last forever.

Do you remember all the movies we watched together ? If I'm not mistaken every single ticket is still with you. Do you still have it with you ? Or you have tossed it into the dustbin. Just wondering.

Red Box Karaoke, Gardens. Does this place ring any bells? We went there for the first & last time. Had the whole room all by ourselves. Singing all the song we love & eating the buffet. I remember we went out to take the food so many times. And I extremely love the tuna sandwich. I was so touched the moment you went to the car and took my jacket because I was so cold. From that moment, I love you more.

Listening to the song sang by you titled ''Take me home country road'. I thank god for having this mp3 because I can hear your voice again. When will you sing a song for me ? Only me.

This is a handmade card by you on our anniversary leaves the deepest memories in my heart. I hoped and pray you would remember what you wrote. If you don't, here is the content :-

Dear, 15 Aug is a very memorable day for me. Today is 15th Sept marks another month together. I hope we can have not just months but years to be with each other. I love you.

-xxxxxx-

This is the best gift you ever gave. NO wait. The best gift you ever gave me was the feeling of being loved by you. I blame myself for your sudden change of feelings.

What else have we gone through ? Is that all we have ? I remember we had more than what I just listed. Oh yes... I remember...

Our very first time clubbing together... Its at G6, Gardens... Its one awesome night. Remember the rest of the night we spent time chatting in the car ? Remember how you got jealous of my friend... You was so worried about me. But I was happy cause you're worried. Unlike now, you don't care anymore. Its fading away you say.....

Today we had plans. Or more like I have plans for us. We were supposed to watch movie together and have early Christmas dinner at MOVIDA. And I was supposed to give you your Christmas present. I got a friend to pass the gift to you. I hope you like it.

For you, I'm smiling.

P/S : I'm sorry that I love you....

Minutes, Days, Months, Years Without You

2010-12-21T18:50:00.022+08:00

Today marks the second day without you and still counting. Not counting till the day you will return. But counting how long will you be away from me. Have you forgotten all the memories & quality times that we spent together or have you not? All those are priceless memories I treasured deep inside. No money can ever buy what memories you gave to me.

MEMORIES WE HAVE

My picture taken by you secretly during our sunset cruise in Kuching. Our very first trip, before you said Can You Be My Girlfriend ? Have you forgotten ? Continued with a photo of my first & only sunset with you.

Can you remember this ? Our second trip together in a month with my bunch of friends. To Langkawi we went. In case you forgot, its the crocodile farm.

Not only that, I was being a small kid. So you got me these two balls. We put coins and turned. Called this egg. And we were so lucky, we got 1 green & 1 blue. Our favorite color each.

And this ? Our very first para sailing. It was so high up. Although I feel scared but I know everything will be alright because you are there.

How about this ? Does it bring back memories ? Its lantern festival !! I over enjoyed it.

And this ? You cooked for me. It taste as delicious as it looks. Will I ever ever have the chance to eat again ?

And this ?? I asked you to wear. You were reluctant at first. But then for me you just wore. I know. Are you still wearing it now ? Yes I am.

We went to The Curve and you bought this for me to make me happy. I was over excited. Wished the balloon could last.

I bet you can remember this. I hope so. Snowflakes @ Kota Damansara. I just had today but I can't finish. Wasted.Now I know why we used to share 1 bowl last time.

Just to share. This is all the memories I have. I know we have ALOT ALOT more. For example, our anniversary in Genting Highlands, 21 October 2010 Birthday Celebration, Terry Fox 2010, World Walking Day and our most recent one is Malacca trip. Sad to say all the pictures are in your camera. For this trips all I have are memories. Below is the last present you gave to me. Its a Christmas present. Thank you. I really love it.

Pink logitech wireless mouse. Love it !

Thank you for accepting my Christmas present & our so called anniversary present that I made for you. The stars was very very difficult to fold. If ever we were to meet again I only want to say this to you :-

I'M SORRY THAT I LOVE YOU

I wanna grow old with you

2010-12-21T14:58:00.002+08:00

Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love fade
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how

L.O.V.E

2010-12-21T13:52:00.006+08:00

Memorable
Everlasting
Love
Virtue
Imagination
Notable

Warm
Outgoing
Nice
Good

Kind
Intelligent
Numb

Meaningful
Unique
Noble

I cry

2010-12-21T11:50:00.001+08:00

You said goodbye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To I never knew
I needed you so bad

You need to let things go
I know, you told me so
I've been through hell
To break the spell

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry
Cause you're not here with me
I cry
Cause I'm lonely as can be

If you could see me now
You would know just how
How hard I try
Not to wonder why

I wish I could believe in something new
Oh please somebody tell me it's not true
I'll never be over you

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

If I could have you back tomorrow
If I could lose the pain and sorrow
I would do just anything
To make you see
You still love me

Fragile Heart

2010-12-21T11:40:00.001+08:00

A fragile heart was broken before
I don't think it could endure another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside of you
That's calling out to make you realize

That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain

So forget your past, and we can dream tomorrow
Save our hearts for card and lovin too
It's hard I know, but oh
One thing for sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart

A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think I could endure another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before

So don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break my fragile heart

With all this fire that burns between us
There's so much to lose
Yet so much more to gain
And if I could, choose the world around me
The world I'd choose would all revolve around you
So help me complete the game inside me
And help to mend my fragile heart

Love....What is that ?

2009-08-19T21:23:00.002+08:00

What did I do ?

Why did you brush me aside ?
Why are you making me crazy ?
What are you to make my heart pain ?
I hate myself for giving my all to you
I hate myself even more for still loving you...

I love you...
I still love you forever
Come back to my side please
You know me, that I'm a frail person
Why are you by all means making me tough

Who are you to make me cry
How can you leave me
If you were going to leave me, why did you have me
What is love to leave a scar in my heart
I can no longer embrace anyone else anymore .....

Breakthrough

2009-08-10T20:50:00.008+08:00

A breakthrough is when you have struggled hard enough and long enough that you finally see things clearly. You may have been struggling with a problem in your life for days, weeks, months and even years and then POW ! the answer is so clear you wonder what took you so long. Do not give yourself a hard time if you think you should have seen the light a lot earlier. You never could have had your breakthrough without going through your process.

Often the most frustrating days are the days when you are making the most progress.

There are major breakthroughs and minor ones. The major ones do not come along that often.They are usually slow in your process because it takes time for all the elements of your life to come together.The minor breakthroughs, how ever, can happen on a daily basis.Recovering from a heartbreak is hard work. But if all you are doing is struggling, then you may need to look at your minor breakthroughs and congratulate yourself on moving forward in your life, even if feels that it is going at a snail's pace. Any progress is progress.When you have a major breakthrough you may want to celebrate by calling a friend, going to a party or patting yourself on the back. It is good to acknowledge your great achievement. Then get back to LIFE !

Jigsaw Puzzle

2009-07-18T18:29:00.007+08:00

Everyday until the sun set,

We got ourselves dirty with mud.

Those days that we wasted so foolishly,
Are hard to throw away.
I'm a dreamer,
But that's just how I am.
Its alright if you don't want to be broken like a jigsaw puzzle.
To you, when someone says 'yes'.
It's the same as they said 'no'.
We thought we would always be free.
When the winds blows through tomorrow.
Even if the puzzle is broken.
Nobody will blame us.
That day, we believed that our dreams weren't wrong.
We just went across the rough seas.
I always knew about the pain I carried in my heart...
Even if you leave this ship, and end up in a different world.
We'll be able to smile in the end.
We continue dreaming.
Continue riding on those embraced dreams...
We'll fight the rough seas today.
Even with our pain,
So that our promises don't become lies.
And then one day,
to you who left our ship,
and now are in a different world.
I will send that completed puzzle.

Masterpiece

2009-07-17T22:21:00.003+08:00

If life were a painting..

And you were the artist.
What would you paint ?
Which colors would you use ?
Grey ?
Electric Blue ?
Candy-apple red ?
Is it a landscape ?
Is it a still life ?
A portrait of yourself ?
A portrait of your true love ?
Your most passionate hopes ?
Would you hang it at the center of your home ?
Or the center of your office ?
Or at the center of your heart ?
When others see it....
What will they remember ?
Just lines on a canvas ?
Or a work of art ?
This is your life.
Paint a BOLD picture.
Make it a masterpiece.
Sign your name.

Matahariku

2009-01-12T16:21:00.003+08:00

Tertutup sudah pintu .. pintu hatiku
Yang pernah dibuka waktu hanya untukmu
Kini kau pergi dari hidupku
Kuharus relakanmu walau aku tak mau

Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Tak ada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi

Dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku
Kubersedih kerna panah cinta menusuk jantungku
Ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku
Tentangku yang tak mampu menaklukan waktu

Berjuta warna pelangi di dalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Takada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi

About Gold Pegasus 10th June 1987

2009-01-06T13:25:00.005+08:00

You are Gold Pegasus, who is extremely cheerful and seems like a very open person.
You can show consideration to others, and have a good sense of humor.
You are also a person who doesn't want to loose.
However, you can be very temperamental, and can suddenly become optimistic, and next minute you are very pessimistic.
You look for fancy atmosphere in daily life, but you know that is only to cover up for your own dissatisfaction and discontent.
You possess unworldly bilateral character.
You have very unique personality, and people who like you and those who don't are clearly divided.
You tend to be audacious, but you must be careful when you use it.
Because Gold Pegasus people tend to be divided into those who exhibit great talent and those who can go stray from the right path.
Unlike your confident attitude, you are rather too nervous, sensitive and can easily change or give up your objectives.
Your natural instinct is fabulous, and you have a passionate personality.
You tend to lead life with lots of emotional ups and downs.
You dislike being restricted, and prefer to enjoy freedom, and this will not change even after you get married.
Therefore there is a chance of you getting divorced.

I Will Survive

2008-12-23T07:59:00.003+08:00

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Would you be there ?

2008-12-06T15:26:00.007+08:00

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way ...

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there ..... for me ...

Eyebrows Embroidery & Short Hair

2008-11-16T13:12:00.027+08:00

About bluunis' beautiful story....

blunnis' intimate story with Malaysian women began in 1997. The founder, James Tan, began his beauty tradition through Ultimate Impression with the belief that every women can be beautiful and young. In the same year, Brownaissance, the revolutionary technique of eyebrows embroidery from the United States, was introduced to Malaysian women from all walks of life.

And today more than 100,000 women nationwide have satisfactorily experienced and shared this beautiful results with them. Being the ultimate impressionist in the beauty industr,y bluunis continues to foster beautiful relationships with women by offering a sanctuary of beauty through warm and professional expertise. bluunis places a great importance in integrity and high ethical practices to reveal woman's beauty and youth through high quality products.

As they constantly invest in the latest beauty techniques and technologies, bluunis is committed to ensure maximum beautiful results and satisfactions to inspire the everyday lifestyles of women across the world - at work, on dinner dates, shopping with friends, during gym workouts or just relaxing at home. We aim to inspire beautiful and healthy lifestyle to enhance lasting satisfactions because every woman wants to be beautiful and young.

Location : bluunis, Subang Parade

bluunis appointment card

I did eyesbrows embroidery about 1 month ago...Wow...It was soooooo PAIN until i can remember every single detail....I really just imagine those people doing tattoo...Embroidery is something like tattoo also where they cut with the knife and into your skin...I look back at the first time i did where my blood was profusely oozing out...Real blood is coming out....And that part have to be cut 3 times... First time plus 2 touch up...I have one more touch up to go on February and one facial....>.<>

After :-

Finally...................., I have beautiful and 'natural' eyebrows....

I not only took the first step to have the courage to do this embroidery but i also cut my hair short !!!!!!!! Thunder suddenly strike my head and i decided to have a makeover to welcome the year 2009. Below are shots from every angle of my new hairstyle....XD

The end of me having long straight / curly hair and now that's history...(:

Its all about Tiffany Sem Shi Yi...

2008-11-10T22:04:00.025+08:00

(Tiffany Sem Shi Yi)
-4th October 2008-
-4.96kg-

I know this looks kinda akward because it seems like some memorable postings but NO...It NOT ! Its a posting to welcome a new born to the world (: And that particular special person is my NIECE ~~~

A day after she was born :) I cried when i saw her for the first time...It was a happy tears..

Take 1 : Close up picture
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Lets see how she manage to survive this world full of liars...Lets see how well she scored...

1 month old ONLY but already so big size..She is a fatty :P

Take 2: Close up

OH MY GOD ! You people must be kidding me...1 month only know how to hold the bottle already ? Haiz ~ What to do...It runs in the family's genes...SMART family....Ha ha ha ~~ Can't believe i just said that *SHY*

Tiffany's mind : Great Grandpa carrying me...I feel so comfortable...*yawn*...Sleep lo....

Uh...How come so many people de ? * wondering* ...very noisy ah...use my hood first...DND la people...And this lady carrying me is my great grandaunt...I feel so happy because so many people 'sayang' me XD
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Tiffany 2 months lo... And its tummy time or play time...

Take 3 : Close up

My papa going to change my pampers lo...Aiyo...Papa is a bad photographer...Never hide all my baby fat first ~~ *SHY*

I just get my second *jab* *jab* today...So pain oh...But the doctor was kind...Put cute plaster on my chubby thighs.. :P I wonder why papa keep on taking my pictures without half my clothes on ? hmmmmm * wondering* obscene lo....

On behalf of Tiffany i put this picture to tell everyone out there that she is a GIRL...Grghhhh ~~Everyone say she look like a BOY...Call her GOOD BOY...=.=" If I show you whats under my pampers then see u all still say i am BOY anot ! Hmph ~~ *BITE*

Canon Goes Green

2008-10-31T23:25:00.033+08:00

CANON GOES GREEN.COM

Just by just seeing the title you cannot believe that I went for the event right…Ha ha! I myself also cannot believe that I went lo….Amazingly I actually managed to get my butt out of the bed at 7.00am to go for the event!

Date: 19 October 2008

Time: 7.30am

Venue: Padang Kota Damansara, Petaling Jaya

This event is so damn fun. And it’s also so meaningful. Canon planted 2500 trees today. Nice…Saving the environment…This event happen like ages ago only now I have the time to post about this blog…So tired of working already…I got no time to do anything..No life! Everytime before I start my posting I have to complain about work first…XD…The happenings of the event will all go by pictures and pictures and more pictures….When we first arrived there, we have to first register ourselves and also we will receive a goodie bag with lots of things inside...

As usual...Every event will kick off with the opening ceremony by those VVIP and VIP's... :)

And now let the event officially begin...

There are a total of 14 spot where the people are going to plant the 2500 trees.The map shows all..

Ok ! Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Baby's start planting now....This particular small boy so cute man !! Especially when he is planting 'HIS' tree... (: I wish my son will be like him also :P

Besides only merely planting trees, they all have booths for coloring and some body art.

A small little girl wanted her face to have a rainbow painted...XD

Items and colors use to do the painting...Like some buncho coloring...

And for sure I wont miss the chance to paint and join the fun la...But I was not so brave to draw on my face...I draw follow on my hand :D

Not only that, we also have a group of children and teenagers using recycled item to play music..

These group teenagers are committed in changing young lives like what is stated on their t-shirt...

Yay ! And its me acting like I am planting trees....Ha ha ha...I went there as MEDIA...Awesome rite !!!

And this 3 weird looking people we all call them 'ENVIRONMENTALIST'. So called mascot for this event...

Yeah...And its me AGAIN and THE CAP...

This poster is the best of all...Each and every thumb print represent one branch...So cool right the idea of this poster :)

The event ended with a blast by a special performances by 'Zainal Abidin' with the song 'Hijau' .

An event job well done !

What if....

2008-10-28T22:32:00.012+08:00

What if….

There are so many what if in my mind…And the feeling to blog just come and go…

Work has been really hectic….

I just feel that the longer I work the worst I feel…..

Felt like I still have not mastered a lot of things…

Is the process complicated or it’s me that is SLOW….

I had always had these 2 words in my mind….

WHAT IF…..

1) My mum suddenly left me all alone? Going on with her journey?

2) My eyes are not able to see anymore?

3) Today is my last day?

4) I suddenly become paralyze?

5) I suddenly die in a freak accident?

6) I step on the banana skin, fall and break my leg?

7) What if I started smoking?

8) And the list goes on and on and on and on……

What if really one of those listed really happen?

What will I become?

Will I still be strong as I am now?

Or things will be different?

There are millions of what if in this world…

Many with no answers….

I always have doubt in my mind….

My mind is always thinking about those WHAT IF questions…..

Not wanting the WHAT IF to become reality….

Just wanting to live in a fantasy…

Where everything seems so perfect…

Life without a scar or a scratch….

Sometimes….

We are forced to go through all this….

Not being given the chance to choose….

This is what everyone called as LIFE….

Not only that….

There are also 2 words that we always come across….

SOMETHING NEW….

Everyday….

Learning something new is definitely way to improve life…

Not failing to learn something is a blessing…

It is also an added experience for future undertakings….

During my graduation….

I heard the valedictorian mention this….

Before we succeed in anything…

We have to start from scratch or from the bottom….

Nothing is easy….

Always be humble….

For example,

Before you learn how to run, you need to learn how to walk and crawl first….

At times where you are so desperate for something….

Remember that nothing ever beats a HAPPY LIFE…

As long as you’re happy the world will be happy for you…

And also your love ones will be happy…..

A short posting to shout out what is in my mind….. :)

Oprah's Big Give show

2008-10-17T22:58:00.006+08:00

Oprah's Big Give show is the most exciting and much-anticipated new primetime series that defies television convention with the bold idea of people competing to give rather than get.

In eight one-hour episodes, a diverse, determined and competitive group of ten people are given the challenge of a lifetime to change the lives of complete strangers in the most creative and dramatic ways. In this intense competition, the contestants criss-cross the country, scrambling to find ways to impact the fates and fortunes of unsuspecting people who are in for the surprise of their lives. Lives will be changed in the blink of an eye as contestants race against time to create once-in-a-lifetime experiences and also give away hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The series premiere, "Episode 101," kicks off in Los Angeles, where Oprah hands ten contestants sealed envelopes with only a picture and the name of a complete stranger. Under intense pressure, they must give big to change this person's life in just five days. The contestants must use their creativity and resources to generate the most powerful and sensational ways to make a real difference, and with the clock ticking, the competition, drama and emotion mount and the contestants' stamina, creativity and drive are tested. This first dramatic challenge will send one person packing.

In the end, there is only one rule in "Oprah's Big Give": YOU EITHER GIVE BIG OR YOU GO HOME.

As the episodes continue, the "gives" get even bigger, the guest stars get brighter and tensions mount, all culminating in the exciting series finale where The Biggest Giver will become the biggest winner. What the contestants don't know — and only viewers do — is that Oprah Winfrey will surprise The Biggest Giver with a whopping $1 million prize.

The ten contestants were discovered in auditions held in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Nashville and represent all walks of life, from a pageant queen and a pre-med student to a paraplegic and a young dot-com millionaire. They include:

• Angelo, 30, a West Point graduate and Iraq War veteran from Ann Arbor, MI
• Brandi, 23, a pageant queen from Chicago, IL
• Cameron, 22, an entrepreneur and dot-com millionaire from Roanoke, VA
• Carlana, 38, a paraplegic, author and media executive from Glendale, CA
• Eric, 37, a former model who now works as a disaster relief worker from Boston,MA
• Kim, 39, an NFL marketing specialist from Brentwood, TN
• Marlene, 37, a train attendant from Chicago, IL
• Olussegun "Sheg", 23, a pre-med student from Nashville, TN
• Rachael, 31, a singer and actress from Los Angeles, CA
• Stephen, 43, a real estate developer from Bedford, NY

I have a dream too. My first dream is to have a Clara’s Big Give show. I was so touched by watching this show. Every episode I watch definitely tears would roll down my cheek because this show is really touching. If anyone one of you out there have the opportunity to download this series please watch. This series is so meaningful. I really wish I had the money so that I can give out and help those people in need.

One of my favourite moments in this series is episode 106. In this episode they are actually going to help 2 families. The one family that I was very touched is the family that the father had cancer. And it was confirmed that he is going to die in another 3 months if I am not mistaken. I was touched by watching how the The Big Give is able to help this family. I just briefly explained what happen. This man, he has cancer and mortgaged the house and a lot of loan debts he need to repay to the bank has not been cleared due to his condition he is not able to work. He is survived by 2 beautiful daughters. His wife’s brother and sister were given a chance by the Big Give to surprise him to make his dream come true before he die that is able to clear all his debts and have some cash in hand enough to send his daughters to universities. He is actually very worried about this because once he die they family will have a heavy burden on their shoulder.

The Big Give helped him by getting Ford Company to sponsor a caravan for his family. Not only that, they have also help him cleared all his debts. He has actually no more worries about his family once he is not around anymore. Not only that, the Big Give actually an outing day for the whole family so that when he is not around his family will remember this happy moment together. This is briefly about this one episode that I like the most in this series.

The top 3 of this series are : -

From my left is Cameron, Brandi and Stephen....Cameron is so damn CUTE...He is such a cutie.:D

Now i proudly present the Big Give winner…………AND the winner is……………….

Stephen, 43, a real estate developer from Bedford, NY

P/S: Dear all who read this posting...Take this quote with you : “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow." :)

100 reasons why I am PROUD to be a women

2008-09-18T20:40:00.005+08:00

1. Working / Earning not mandatory.

2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.

3. We don't have to bother on mobile bills.

4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.

5. We don't have to stand on the queue to get tickets.

6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.

7. We don't have to worry about the purse when we shop with men.

8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.

9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.

10. Men take us on all expense paid trips.

11. We always get place to sit when using public transport.

12. Easy to get a ride.

13. Men hold the door open for us.

14. Jewels looks good on us.

15. We lie better.

16. We're better manipulators.

17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.

18. We always have food in the fridge.

19. We don't worry about losing our hair.

20. We always get to choose the movie.

21. We don't have to mow the lawn.

22. We don't have to take out the garbage.

23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.

24. If we need our boyfriends just a missed call is enough.

25. We can easily show our disappointments or disapprovals.

26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.

27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.

28. Even strangers shows care if we are in trouble. Men have to manage themselves.

29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over em forever.

30. We can cry in public. Men cant.

31. We don't feel shy to cry.

32. We don have worry if we lose the fight.

33. Sweat is sexy on us.

34. We never run out of excuses.

35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.

36. We can borrow clothes or accessories from our friends.

37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.

38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.

39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.

40. Women are cleaner.

41. We know how to make up stories.

42. We're better arguers.

43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.

44. We don't have to worry if we are plump. Men still like us.

45. We're better parents.

46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.

47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.

48. We're flexible.

49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.

50. Easy to make friendships.

51. Much easy to get a date.

52. Men have to be in uniform.

53. We can do makeup anywhere

54. If we do heavy purchase we don't have to carry those things. Men are there.

55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.

56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.

57. We often get to cut in line (Queue).

58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.

59. Better tips.

60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting

61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.

62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume!

63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.

64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.

65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.

66. We don't bother if our IQ level is less. Just a smile is enough.

67. We are always smart.

68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.

69. We don't have to lie to boast ourselves better.

70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.

71. Women sweat less.

72. Women smell better.

73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards

74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.

75. We don get charged if we tease men in public.

76. We can be late to the office.

77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.

78. We're better gossips.

79. We have better fashion sense.

80. We're better shoppers.

81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.

82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.

83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)

84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.

85. We don't have to drive when on a date.

86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just ugly.

87. We can search for hours together in a shop not necessary to buy.

88. Don't have to maintain great physique.

89. Women look better naked

90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.

92. Women do less time for violent crimes.

93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.

94. There are many hands to lift us when we slip to ground. Poor men they have to get up on their own.

95. And we don't have to feel shy about falling down.

96. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye"

97. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.

98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.

99. Women are sexier.

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it..........!!!

The Coconut Story

2008-09-14T22:09:00.024+08:00

On a hot Saturday..Only coconut drink can do the work..

According to the smarty pants people, The English name coconut, first mentioned in English print in 1555, comes from the Spanish and Portuguese word coco, which means "monkey face." Spanish and Portuguese explorers found a resemblance to a monkey's face in the three round indented markings or "eyes" found at the base of the coconut.

Is it this monkey ?

OR this monkey ?

Hah ! Found it ~

On the Nicobar Islands of the Indian Ocean, whole coconuts were used as currency for the purchase of goods until the early part of the twentieth century.

Coconuts are the fruit of the coconut palm, botanically known as cocos nucifera, with nucifera meaning "nut-bearing." The fruit-bearing palms are native to

Malaysia

, Polynesia and southern Asia, and are now also prolific in South America, India, the Pacific Islands, Hawaii and Florida. The light, fibrous husk allowed it to easily drift on the oceans to other areas to propagate.

In Sanskrit, the coconut palm is known as kalpa vriksha, meaning "tree which gives all that is necessary for living," because nearly all parts of the tree can be used in some manner or another.

The coconut fruit has many food uses for its water, milk, meat, sugar, and oil. It also functions as its own dish and cup. The coconut's name is a bit of a misnomer, since it is botanically classified as a drupe and not a nut. It is the largest seed known.

As for me not wanting to miss out the miracle that a coconut can do. I drank plus eat the whole coconut all alone.....*mwahahahahahahaha* It really gives me more energy for another hectic week ahead !

Yum Yum....looks good right...Wait till you see whats inside...:D
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Come on Clara...I know you can open the coconut !
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Finally....its OPEN ! Thanks to Clara's many experience in this field !! Ke ke....Everyone get to enjoy..

Uh....How come its empty ? Who stole the coconut water from the coconut ? Not me !

Hah ! Found it...

After a hectic work of working, nothing beats a cold and refreshing coconut water for myself ....

1st week of work

2008-09-05T20:03:00.014+08:00

The journey of my life continues.....

Geez...Its already Sunday today...I have already been working in IBM for one week...Its kinda tiring actually....Now I understand why working people always says that they are tired...I totally understand it...Please believe it...Okey now...Lets compare during college days and working days..I want to go back to study times..But there are always advantages and disadvantages at both sides...Depends on how you look at it actually...:D...During college time I usually sleep at about 12am-1am...But when I started working...At 10.30pm I am all ready to go to bed...Not I want to but I just feel so tired like the clock is already showing 12am...=.=...I just dont understand why when we start to work the time passes so damn fast...I hardly have time for myself...For example like today....I hardly got the time to rest because i was doing some house chores and in a blink of an eye its already night time and here I am...The worst thing is tomorrow is MONDAY and I have to go to work !!! I hate it ~!!! But the best part of working is that i get $$$$$ and more $$$$$$$ for my shopping spree....LOL ~

Lets briefly talk about my first week of work...The first week can be described in one word that is BORED...The first day I really felt so out of place...Like nobody cares about me...My team members and even my boss...My boss is a lady !!!!!! ALERT !!! Lady usually very strict....I hope she treat me nice because I am such a nicey myself...He he...She just gave me some notes to read...The notes are so damn bloody long...And it makes me damn sleepy...For the next 2 days i was just staring blankly at the notes...Because she say that my Think Pad will only be arriving on Friday..On the first day I also got my ID done...Lets have a look at IBMers ID...

Sorry for the so unclear pictures...I got no money to buy a digital camera.
All I have is a camera handphone ! :(

On Thursday, our team had an education meeting...And guess what !!!! The meeting lasted for 2.5 hours without any break...OMG...Can you just imagined it !!! During college times even a 2 hours lecture also we will have atleast a 10 minutes break...The meeting was longer then that !!! Save me... But i managed to make it through the meeting alive and in one piece...Ha ha ~~ After working one week there I still feel like nobody cares about me...Wu wu wu wu...Am i supposed to be independent ? Actually I have alot of questions to ask..My boss is a busy lady as usually...She is a manager....For your information my team is taking care of the country Thailand...:):) Something new for me...I had never learn anything about the country Thailand before nor have I visited the country...

On Friday I had a training the whole day but we do have breaks in between...It was not very boring...I learned alot about IBM's history and the people working in IBM are called as IBMers...Cool right :):)...During training actually I wanted to take a photo of the place but the room is always filled with people so I did not have the chance to do so...So the posting this time is very boring because mostly words and no visuals...Before I attend this training I had no idea of what IBM stands for...IBM stand for International Business Machines...For me I kinda feel the name not so suitable for an international company....LOL ~~

One last advice for those who will be going out to work soon...Please do enjoy your college days because that's all the time you can have fun...According to my brother: During school days we had 2 months holiday, when we come to college days we had 2 weeks holiday and when we finally arrived in the working world we only have 2 freaking days holiday that are Saturday and Sunday...So sad right ???

My 1st job interview

2008-09-01T14:02:00.014+08:00

I believe that the logo says it all.

Yeah ! My first job interview was with IBM (Malaysia) located in 19th Floor,Plaza IBM, Petaling Jaya. This is also the first job i applied through Jobstreet.Com and i got a call to go for an interview. I was kinda excited because the lady called at about 7:30pm on 26th August (Tuesday) asking me information about myself and my education background then lastly she said are you free to come for an interview tomorrow. I answered "Sure". Then she asked from Seremban how long i need to drive down to Petaling Jaya. I said about 2 hours because i do not drive very fast...LOL ~ I said that because i do not want her to schedule me a very early interview. I need to get my beauty sleep. So she said alright how about an interview at 11am on 27th August (Wednesday). I said okey. I am able to make it. Then she introduced her ownself as Ms.Meng and the details i need to know when i reach there. After having the conversation with Ms.Meng i was jumping in joy informing my mum about this good news.

On the same day, i packed my things and rushed down to my sister's place in PJ to stay because i do not want to wake up early and drive. It would be very tiring. So at about 9.30pm i left home and head to PJ. And i took the wrong turning. I supposed to turn at exit Damansara/PJ instead i took the Subang Jaya/PJ turning. I ended up somewhere else. Then my brother in-law and sister have to come and get me. Ha ha ~ Luckily they know where i am. I was not far from home actually. Reached home at about 11.10pm. Bathed and online for a while and went to bed at about 12.20am.

Date: 27th August 2008
Time: 11am
Venue: 19th Floor, Plaza IBM, Petaling Jaya
Interviewer: Ms.Meng
Interviewee: Ms.Clara Tan

I reached there about 10.40am. I went to the receptionist and she gave me a form to fill in. After that i waited for a while and Ms.Meng came. She said i got to wait for a while because she had to interview the Korean girl first :):). I waited for about 30 minutes then it was my turn. So we went into the room and she interviewed me on a one to one interview. She was just asking those common questions that would be asked during an interview :) I think the interview lasted about 30 minutes. She was asking all sort of questions. After the interview with her i am supposed to meet up with her manager. The manager was also a lady. The manager interviewed me for about 10-15 minutes. After that i was allowed to go back. On the lift i met with the Ms.Meng again and she told me that her manager asked to offer me a temporary job that is a 4 months contract. I told her i will consider and let her know tomorrow.

So the next following day she called at 9am. I did not pick up because i was still sleeping :):). After that I woke up and return her call at 9.30am saying that i am going to take the offer. Then she said good good and says that the man power people will prepare and documents and will contact me.

But till today 2nd September 2008 ( Tuesday) there was no news from her or the man power people. Is the job still open for me ? I have to give her a call today and ask about it !

While writing this post. A miracle happen. She called. I was required to sign a contract today or tomorrow. Better today because i am starting my job tomorrow ! Cheers :):):):)

13th INTIMA Exco Camp

2008-08-31T02:29:00.012+08:00

Location: Bayu Resort, Port Dickson

Date: 23rd to 25th August 2008
Room number: 614

Beach view from room 614

Beach view from room 505

First day of the camp was soooooooo darn boring.....I nearly slept off in almost allof the meetings...Haha...We 12th INTIMA go there supposed to share a tiny winy bit of information to the 13th INTIMA only...Like what the 11th INTIMA did to us...:P But we ended up spending the first afternoon sharing information with them...:( Thank god only the afternoon was bored...But at night it was super duper fun..Calvin, Wei Ken and Waye Young teach me how to play 4 Kings...The game was sooooo nice :):) I'm lovin' it !!! Now let me brieftly explain how this game is being played..A packed of cards is needed and every card has their own meaning...

A= Bitch ( People are not supposed to talk to you)

K=Thumb King (You put your thumb on your forehead and everyone has to follow)
Q= A new rule
J= Happy hour !!!(Everyone drinks )
10= Toilet pass :):) (With this only can go to the toilet)
9= Come out with a rhythm
8-5= Ask opponent to drink the amount of times
2-4= Ownself drink

So what do you all think about this game ? Awesome right ? So you guys out there better try out this new game.It was so difficult not to have the toilet pass but wanting to go to the toilet that badly after drinking 3 bottles of water...You all can substitute the water with liquor :)

Early morning 7am view. Getting ready to jog along the beach :D

Ok..So i told myself nevermind...First day only ma...Later the second day i must have fun...Here comes the second day...We had to prepare some games for the 13th INTIMA to play....>.<>

Face sun burn alert !!!!!

Legs sun burn alert !!

Spotted: Clara simply lying her footprints on PD beach...:)

On the last day Raymond was not satisfied that he did not leave any memories in PD so as to prove that he has been to PD...This smart fella decided to climb a coconut tree...

Lets meet with Raymond the future coconut tree climber :X I wonder what got into his mind ? Stress ?

The camp ended with a blast...Thumbs up to the 13th INTIMA and good luck ! Hope you guys will perform much better then the previous INTIMA..And last but not least overall i had lotsa fun and learn alot of new games :):):)

Its all about Kota Kinabalu

2008-08-25T20:32:00.021+08:00

A small reminder :) and what's with the exclamation marks at the end la !!!

Location: Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

Date: 19th to 21st July 2008
Present: My dad, my mum and me :)

Calm scenery
I always wonder how come every time i sit the aeroplane i will be given the seat next to the wings >.<".

Its lunch time...Yay !!
The aeroplane's food still edible la...:)

Ermmm...actually i did not really have a great time in KK except for the second last day at night where my god brother's aunty brought us around the KK town and One Borneo the shopping mall...And the best part is during the journey i did not bring my camera...Sad :( The uncle also brought me to meet up with yun yuan also..I was delighted :)...We had alof of nice food...But me and my parents also sure did not just sit in the hotel and do nothing right...We made it to the Philllipine market, Gaya street and the Kraft Center and not forgetting dinner we went to The Ocean King Restaurant...

Live lobster

Dead lobster :D Not my fault...Blame the chef...

Ugly rock fish...ewwwww...Its a big NO NO to this fish...

Prawns :D

This prawns was kinda scary so i decided not to eat :P They were swimming so actively and i don't want them to be doing that in my tummy >.<

Food food foooooooood and more fooooooooood pictures....yum yum *-)

Unknown fish...:X

Tauhu.....

The doctor says : A plate of vegetables a day keeps me away !

Last random picture to end my posting...I was walking around the town and i came across this mamak stall...Check it out ~

Have you all detected the error yet ? Ha ha...Let me explain..It shows 24 hours right so i think that means it should be open 24 hours...You see i also see...So no wrong...Next explanation...One day only got 24 hours right ? or there is 25 hours that i don't know ? Conclusion.. The stall supposed to be open 24 hours...LOL !!

I'm ready to fly

2008-08-22T15:04:00.004+08:00

Cruelty

Loss
Imagination
Fantasy
Frustration
Option
Reborn
Devastated

Anger
Nonsense
Good for nothing

Killer
Awful
Ignorant

Wimp
Emotional
Immature

I open my eyes the world seems a different place.
The colours are brighter and the air is sweet to taste.
Seems like I woke up from a nightmare that tied me down.
I was smothered and trapped inside a sleep way underground.
Its time I learned to fall.
To say the word goodbye.
I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am.
Let go of fear I wanna feel alive.
The more that you hold me back, you set me free.
You help my heart decide.
But love is the hardest thing I have ever had to shake.
Its time to break these chains.
To look you in the eye.
To tell you that its over now.
So maybe that means.
I'm ready to fly.
Give me the strength to walk away.
Give me the strength to stay the road ahead.
Even if it's a lonely place.
Give me the hope to mend this heart.
Give me the chance to see love smile, smile again.

INTIball 2008

2008-08-22T13:03:00.012+08:00

Date: 5th July 2008
Time: 6pm sharp
Venue: Hotel Istana, KL
Theme: "Reach for the stars"
Present: 600 students + VIP's
Absent: None

Okey....Here it goes...Since its my blog i should then write about what i did the whole day starting from 12pm on 5th of July 2008...12pm i drove all the way back to Seremban to get my hair done and also to get some stuff from home...I reached the salon at about 12:45pm...The hair do finished at about 1:40pm...At the same time i message my son aka Wei Chun to check with him what time is he leaving...He said at 2pm...I suddenly changed my mind instead of following Ken i think i should follow Wei Chun and reach there earlier to help out...So like a mad lady with nice make up and hair do i rushed back to Nilai and reached there about 2:1opm...They waited for me...He he...:) Fine....Then 3 of us when down to Sunway to fetch Jonathan friend...Unfortunately i forgot his name...Ha ha...On the way to his friends place...

Happy and proudly to say we cam whore in the car ! Take a good guess on who is holding the camera ? Another 4th person perhaps ?

Not to forget...I cam whore alone too...Emo-ing... :)

After the stop at the petrol station we carry on with our journey...We reached his friends house at about 3:20pm...We pick up his friend and continue on the journey to Hotel Istana...We reached Istana at about 4:20pm...:D When we reached there the first thing i did was help out...I help out by putting all the 60 tables with 5 booklet each...After putting all the 60 tables i begin to see stars too...Ha ha...Feeling dizzy =.=....During the event i was usher cum program master :):) But i kinda left out my program master task and only focus on my ushering...:(

Julianne and me :)

The night continue and continue and continue till about 10 something... I had lots lots fun and the performance was great :) I took lots of lots of pictures too :D

Richard and me :D

Andy and me :) The ice sculpture at the back is so nice :D

After INTIBall we went to maison...He he...

I am now officially dead tired after INTIBall and clubbing. I wish my bed was beside me now...I'm drunk :X

25th June 2008

2008-08-22T12:28:00.007+08:00

Okey...Great...You guys must be thinking now already August how come i am still blogging about June...LOL ~ For the month of June, July and August i was very very busy...INTIBall around the corner, Installation Night also and not forgetting my final exams...Haiz...No space to breath...Finally now, everything has come to an end...I have graduated too !!! What is so special about this date you all must be pondering and wondering...So lets get straight to the point..On this date i donated blood for the 3rd time in history...Ha ha ~~ Oh my god !! And this time is the worst...The lady did not poke the normal spot...She poke a different spot...This time when i donate it was so suffering...In my heart i was screaming in PAIN ! I wonder what went wrong ? Ha ha...

Wait ! Photo session 1
Clara: Kakak, perlahan sikit...Sakit tau! Darah saya sangat berharga..Duit pun tak boleh beli !

Geez ! Everytime i donate blood right..I kinda feel okey one...But this time...Really like no energy...I still blame the nurse for poking other place...Haha ~ I finally find out why i have become so weak.. I think its because i donate blood...Since i donated blood i became very weak...Abit of air-condition only i feel cold..Bath cold water also cannot stand...Then very easy to fall sick...Haiz...Almost everyweek also i fall sick...T_T

Photo session 2
Wu wu wu....My precious......Its flowing....

This time my blood flow so slow...Told you all already lo...The nurse poke wrong place...Not my blood got problem is the nurse got problem lo !

After this is end of the story...To be continued to the 4th time donating blood........:):):)

One Day Trip to Genting !

2008-06-19T16:38:00.009+08:00

At first...I wanted to find a suitable time to blog about this topic...Definitely not the situation now i would choose to blog about this topic...So not into the mood to blog at all...Ha ha...But in the end i blog also...LOL ~ Because i am too FREE !!

Lets begin...

Date: 14th June 2008 (Saturday)
Location: Genting Theme Park
Mood: Super Happy :)
Present : Me, Jia Wen & Yun Yuan
Absent: Xiao Jing (Litchi)

Well well...The day started when i woke up at 7am >.<..Damn damn sleepy because i slept late last night...Maybe because i was too excited about this trip..:D As usual, doing the daily stuff i usually do in the morning like brushing teeth, bathing and bla bla..I will skip that part and leave it to you all to figured it out...LOL ~ The planned time to meet up at KL Sentral was 9am...Hmmm...Do you guys think i can reach on time ? *muahahahahaha* The answer is i did not...I wanted to be punctual too okey..Its not that i purposely want to be late...:P After getting ready it was about 8.00am...Then i walk to the bus stop to wait for the public bus >.<...The bus arrived at about 8:15am...And I reached the train station at approximately 8:35am...The train arrived at 8:50am....I finally reached KL Sentral at 9:40am...Geez...>.<"..Sorry la girls....No more next time :P...Yun Yuan was early so she have already asked the bus time and stuffs...She told us that the earliest bus now is at 1.00pm...We was like awwww hmmmm.....:( Then she asked the taxi and they say will charge us RM80 for one taxi but the person is not there anymore...Later, another taxi wanted to charge us RM90..So expensive !! 3 people only summore...>.<>

Us :P

The first ride was sure the swinging chair thingy..I don't know what exactly is the right name for that ride..He he ~~ Let me skip some part...Most of the games we played...I only will mentioned those rides that we had fun...The most fun was the Pirate Ship...The ride was not scary but the part where we boo people was nice...:) We sat this ride twice !! Both time also we boo but the second time those small kids really not shiok la..Keep quiet only...The first time we boo those malay guys...Ha ha ~ Actually is they boo us first...Then we boo them back...They lose to us lo...Some of the malay guys also never raise the hand keep quiet only...We sure more "geng" la....We took alot alot of pictures also...After having so much fun in the theme park we then decided to walk around first world to buy some things back..While we was walking around...Suddenly we stumble into a shop...We went in and come out like that :-

Us AGAIN !! :D

Me :X

Thats right !! We all got tattoo ~ Ha ha....Haiz...Not wanting to reveal the real truth but its just temporary tattoo... And it did not even last for a week...Sighz ~ How we wish it was permanent...Something to show our friendship last forever :D...The day ended with the tattoo-ing session and we head back to home at 7 something and we all reached Seremban at about 11pm...Nice + Fun + Memorable Day :):) *muackies*

My 21st Birthday !!

2008-06-10T23:49:00.011+08:00

Date of Birth : 10 June 1987
Place of Birth : Chinese Maternity, Seremban
Description : A girl name Clara Tan was born....:)

This year events happenings for my birthday are as below:

Date: 6th June 2008, Friday
Location: Steamboat at Lobak, Seremban
Price: RM 18 per person
Time:8:00pm till 11:30pm
Description: People invited: Jia Wen, Yun Yuan, Sze Ginn, Xiao Jing and Liu Jie..But only Jia Wen and Yun Yuan is able to make it...Actually wanted to go steamboat on Saturday but Yun Yuan was not free on Saturday..So we changed it to Friday..It all started at 8:30 because i came late...Terhehehe ~:P When i reach then we started eating...Talking about this posting now make me feel sooooo hungry....We 3 girls eat and eat and eat...Cook and boiled...Everything also we do...Everything also we eat...Like monster...Was too engross till i forget to take pictures...Haha...This day ended by just 3 of us merely eating eating eating...

Date: 8th June 2008, Sunday
Location: Home Sweet Home
Time: 5:00pm
Description: A small celebration with all my family members.:):)

Date: 9th June 2008, Monday
Location: INTIMA Office
Time: 12:10pm
Description: As usual, I went to office to be on duty from 12pm-2pm... When i went in the first thing i saw was the board written by Calvin Chung. I kinda forget what he wrote, but it goes something like this :

Dear Clara,

Please go to ARO ( Admissions and Records Office) to update them that you're 1 year older.After that, go to Finance Office and collect your present ( money)...Then, confirm with IMPAC ( INTI Music and Performing Arts Club) that they are going to sing Birthday Song for you.. Lastly, go to GO (General Office) to book a bus for us to go out to celebrate your 21st Birthday !!! Happy birthday ....

From, Calvin Chung

Kelvin

Ha ha...Nice ? :) My first impression before i read i was like...WTH ~~ Work for me to do again...But when i read it was actually some funny stuffs...LOL...

Date: 9th June, 2008, Monday
Time: 9:20pm
Location: INTIMA Office
Description:As usual too, our daily meeting at night starts at 8pm...After the meeting ended, Calvin said everyone lets sing Clara a Happy Birthday Song...I was soooooo touched...Nearly cried :):)

Date: 9th June 2008
Time: 10:10pm
Location: INTI Hostel Room D2-14
Description: I wrote a letter to J saying that i wanted to break up ! And now we are officially no more together....:(:(

Date:10th June 2008, Tuesday
Time: 2:10pm
Location: Bakery, INTI-UC
Description: On Tuesday my class over at 2pm,Ms.Yalini's class...After that me and my classmates went to the bakery to have our lunch...On the way there, we meet Ms.Yalini also...Then we ask her to join us inside the room in the bakery...First she said don't think can join because have to rush some presentation slides for tomorrow..After all of us ordered food and we went back to the room to wait for the food to be served suddenly Ms.Yalini came in with a small little cake saying this is for you Clara...i was like Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.....:):) Nearly broke into tears again...Sweetttttt......I ask Ms.Yalini to stay with us so we can celebrate together...Then together with my classmates and Ms.Yalini we celebrated my birthday ~~~ :)

Date: 10th June 2008, Tuesday
Time: 5:00pm
Location: Midvalley Megamall, KL
Description: A date with my lovely friend, Xiao Jing (Litchi)...Litchi is a China friend i know in college since the year 2006. We have known each other for 2 years...It is really nice to have such a special friend like her..She is different from others :):) We went to Midvalley because she had an job interview in Tun Sambathan area in KL...We went shopping at Miss Selfridge because i could not find any nice clothes in Topshop or Dorothy Perkins :) I also got a voucher or 20% because its my birthday :) Yay !

Date: 10th June 2008, Tuesday
Time: 6:03pm
Location: Carls.Jr, Midvalley
Description: We had Carls for the first time...Always heard about this charbroiled burger but did not manage to find the time to eat it...He he...Actually Litchi does not really fancy this fast food stuffs...But she say its okey...I can eat whatever i feel like eating :):) The burger was soooooooo niceeeeee....Yum Yum....:) The day ended here...

Niceeeeeee :D

I want to take this opportunity to say a very very thanx to many many of my friends who actually wished me from all around the world...From Australia to Malaysia...Through phone to writing me a msg on facebook and friendster...Really really love you guys alot ~ muackies XOXO *huggies*
** Current favourite song : David Cook - You're always be my baby

Allergy Crisis

2008-06-10T22:44:00.005+08:00

Hmmmm....Ok...I haven't been updating for my blog like approximately 20 days i think ? Ha ha...Come on la...I am busy k...LOL...Here goes for this posting...Well well....Let me see how should i start...It all happened on 29 May, Thursday...One fine day as usual...6 hours of freaking damn damn damn boring class i have to go through from 8am till 2pm....Arghhhh....I wonder how can i be still alive ? Back to the topic....That night i don't really feel like having anything for dinner so i went down to the INTImart to get some bread and raisins to eat...Sounds like a weird combination of food i should have for dinner rite...Ha ha...I dunno wat to eat ma...LOL ~~ Then suddenly at about 11 something after bathing...I was planning to "start studying"....I suddenly felt how come my legs are so itchy one and red red...That particular time i assumed it was some mosquitoes bite only...30 minutes later....i fell like its become more itchy and the red mark is becoming bigger and bigger and its like spreading to my whole legs....So i quickly get the phone and call my mummy...I told her all about it and i told her that i think its allergy but i told her just my legs ok...Then she said ok...Not so serious yet...Apply that medicine i gave u and it will be fine....So i follow my mum instructions to apply that medicine and went straight to bed after applying because it was really itchy...Sleeping is the only way i can forget about the itchiness...After rolling on my bed for about 1 hour...I felt my hands and neck becoming itchy too...So i decided to go to the toilet to check is the itch spreading there too...And too my dismay it is !!!! I began to panic because i have not have any allergy reaction before this...It was 2am already !!! Everyone is either snoring or in dreamland and i am here having this allergy...So i called my parents again...I was complaining to them and saying that i wanted to go home immediately...I don't want to stay here already...They finally said ok..So now the problem is how am i going to go back !!! So the first person i called was Jason (busy),Ken (sleeping), Liu Jie (never answer) and lastly Samuel.....Sam drove me home....He was the last person that i thought i would trouble and ask him to send me home....He is really my savior...I really owe him...Thanx to him i manage to get home that morning...:) After that i went to the doctor and my allergy become much better....

My Leg with allergy :P

Big Feast at Jogoya Restaurant in Starhill...

2008-05-20T19:36:00.019+08:00

Awww....The view inside the restaurant :)

Jogoya is a Japanese buffet with its freshest of seafood, sashimi, tempura and even cooked on demand fare brought straight to your table.

Jogoya means a shop which is full with culture should be visited by the high class people.
Jo - a supreme place
Go- the palace live by the king
Ya- a shop

Location: Relish Floor, Starhill Gallery, Bukit Bintang

A sample of the soft towellete, name card and not forgetting the BILL !! :P

So called "numbered pegs" to put on the food you want and they will send it to you ! And my smart brother accidentally stole one the the peg number peg 015 back..LOL~

OK ! Lets get back to some real business. The food in Jogoya is damn nice. So nice until i don't know which food to eat first. Hmmmm....I think seeing pictures explains more about how the food works there...Ha ha ~~

Yum Yum ~ Beef bacon....Nice....

Maggot soup with chicken backside...Oops..Just joking...Its actually so called 10 types of herbal soup...

People say too many cooks spoiled the food. So look at my brother in-laws creations...
Yum Yum ~~ Delicious... Bamboo + Coconut ? I think he wants to cook the coconut too...

Caught in action: Clara attempting to eat something she hate the most....
Curious of what she is eating ? Than do stay back to see the next picture...

Yes ! Thats right ~ Its Fresh Oyster...I wonder why everyone in Jogoya rushing for this...I don't find it nice at all...Nearly puke while eating this. I had to swallow this damn thing !!

Shrimp anyone ?

A weird combination of food that my dad took consists of abalone, unagi, salmon, squid and some unknown black and green stuff...Haha ...Its actually black beans and wasabi la ~~

Finally....Is it the end yet ? No of course if its without the dessert...Ha ha...

Nothing can be more soothing to end this course with a scoop of baskin robbins ice-cream with a slice of cheese cake and 2 cookies....

Weee.....I enjoyed the day so much by merely just eating...Haha ~~ Noticed that i also gained weight already...Heavy eating like this can be disastrous...Anyway ! Who cares.....As long i am happy and the best part is i ENJOY ~~

My Final Semester ...

2008-05-16T17:05:00.004+08:00

This is my final semester in INTI. O.o. Its just in a glimpse of an eye i have already been in INTI for 4 years. This is so freaking long !! 4 years ~ It is definitely not a short period of time. In this 4 years what have i gained and what kind of person i have turned into. Have i changed ? What kind of friends have i make ? What experience and knowledge have i gain so far. And is already time to say goodbye to this studying society and welcoming the working life. Am i physically and mentally ready for the hazardous working life ? Am i able to cope with the stress that awaits me ? There are so many questions to be asked. A list that can be never end. I am actually partially worried about my studies for this semester because its the final semester and i really cannot afford to screw this semester. If i do. Than what i have been studying for 4 years will just go down the drain. Trying hard to slowly start studying now. Hopefully it will bring benefit to me during my final examination. Oops. Yesterday i felt sick suddenly. Maybe because i got the virus from J. He he ~ Still feeling sick at this moment but its getting better as the time passes by. Arghhhhh ~~~ FINAL semester already. Till now i just cannot believe it. For the pass few semesters i have seen people getting a good honors and some not getting the honors they wanted. Can i get the honors i dream of having ? I am not a greedy person. All i want is just a second class upper. Am i able to make my dream come true ? Balancing time and life is not an easy thing that everyone can do. If u fail once never give up. Continue on the journey where there is no ending to the pathway until you have died.

When one door closes, another opens. But we often look regretfully upon the closed doors that we don't see the one that has opened for us. (Alexander Graham Bell)

Is it the end already ?

2008-05-01T15:39:00.003+08:00

Here i am again, no where to hide, no one to go to.Yesterday i did one very very stupid thing and after i done that stupid thing i regretted over my small kid actions. I know everyone must be very impatient wanting to know what stupid thing i did.At about 10:30pm yesterday i called Jason and say i wanted to borrow his car to drive down to KL to see J.Because me and J have been fighting almost everyday. And yesterday was the worst in our relationship.So all alone with an unclear mind of KL roads and directions together with an unfamiliar car i drove to KL.Finding the place where J is. I told J that i am driving now and for the whole journey on the phone all he ask me to do was to stop the car and turn back. Not listening to him, i just continue driving to KL. Trying to find where i should go so that J can find me. I told J i want to go KLCC because i assume it was easy to find. But unfortunately, i lost the way. And after a long time driving i finally found my way to Berjaya Times Square. So J waited there for me. And we finally met. Not saying anything, just raising his voice saying why i done such a stupid thing just to prove him wrong ? He say i make him worried all the way. We went to have dinner at a mamak stall only for about 1 hour i guess. We did not really talk much or discuss much what has happened. He ask me what i wanted to say but i just keep silent to myself. After that i drove back myself, at about 4am i reach back to Nilai. After bathing, i send J a message the main content is stating to ask for a separation.Today morning, i told my friend all about what has happen and they say its just a small matter. Why need to break up..This is not the only matter between me and J. There are so many more difficulties between us. So i waited till today afternoon, but J did not reply or say anything. I thought he was sleeping so i called him wanting to know what is his answer. And i found out he already woke up and is working now. So is the answer written clearly that it is the end already ? Not wanting to accept the fact that badly...But i guess this is the best choice.............

Am i slacking ?

2008-03-27T12:16:00.001+08:00

Here i stand..Trying hard to put a smile on my face when i pass by the guard. Hiding the sadness in myself. Am i slacking is the question ? Always wanted time for myself to improve and when i have the time than i tend to slack. Today was such a bad day for me. I went to International Marketing class and its a one hour class. The lecturer gave a case study and ask us to prepare for the class today. And guess what...I totally forgot about it and i am the ONLY person who did not prepare for that case. I felt so down right at that moment. My thoughts tend to sway to other place with the question in my mind. What has happen to me? While i was blogging suddenly my mum's msn pop up asking me how am i ? On the way back just now..I really really wanted to tell my mum the incident but i just dont know how to put in a better way so that my mum would not fell disappointed about me. I know she have high hopes on me. My mum's msn came at the right time so i told her everything that happen to me just now in class. My mum was shocked too. And she told me to say sorry to the lecturer. How to ? I just dont have the courage because we are not in secondary school anymore where we ask the teachers for forgiveness. Than my mum pop me another question.. How can u overlook such an important case study ? You watched too much movies. The reason only i know. Is it because of J i am slacking or it is myself that i am slacking ? Who should be blame. No one other than myself.. After this incident.. Am i aware ? Am i awake from my sleep ? OR am i still in dreamland ? Am i a person who only talks and take no action ? Please CLARA ! Wake up ~ Remember your goals and not slack for other things. Always have in mind what is worth it and what is not worth it. Manage your time wisely and let nothing come in control except your ownself !! Is my whole day today ruined ? I hate myself so much .........

Stressed is how i feel....

2008-03-13T18:00:00.001+08:00

Now at this moment, stress is the word that reflects my feeling now. I really wonder what is the meaning of stress ? The real meaning ? Am i feeling stress now ? or depressed ? or something else ? Who will know other than myself. Currently at the moment what am i seeking and searching for? Now in the office in this dark room covered with four walls i am inside writing this blog. So many things to be done. So many duty need to fullfilled. Is this a normal feeling ? or am I stress ? When i start thinking about the things that i need to complete. It is like a never ending story. I dunno when it will come to an end. Every day i come into office, exco's reminds me about things to do for Sports Fiesta than Conference than Radiance Illumination than INTIBALL than Installation Night. So many things but which should comes first. I do one and i cannot do the other one. How should i planned my time and work. I feel so stress. This is just about my work. How about my assignment that the date due is tomorrow ? I havent finish ? Not sleeping tonight to finish it ? Next week, I will have another assignment due and presentations to do. When will it come to an end. I can barely take it anymore. The only thing that i have in mind now is how can i survive this hectic moment ? I am barely hanging on. Tears begin to role down as i feel so stress and sick. Just wanting to give up everything. I just cannot take it anymore. How do i overcome this situation ?

Free hugs

2008-02-22T14:58:00.012+08:00

Juan Mann hugging a stranger !

Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.

As this symbol of human hope spread across the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What we then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

In the Spirit of the free hugs campaign, PASS THIS TO A FRIEND and HUG A STRANGER! After all, If you can reach just one person.

Log on to http://www.freehugscampaign.org/ for more information ! Don't forget to watch the youtube video too !

Living life in a fast pace

2008-02-20T23:09:00.001+08:00

Living life in a fast pace ? What is the meaning of this phrase.There can be many depending on who you are.For me, its like wanting the time to past so fast together with those past memories. But it isnt easy living in a fast pace.

Where memories will be forgotten. Are there actually memorable memories for me to remember ? I am begining to doubt myself. Who will i become in future ? Where will i be in few years time ? Who am i actually ? The real me. I am lost.

A person who only appreciate things when its gone ? When it is no more turning back ? When will i begin to understand myself ? In another 10 years time or in another 20 years time or even NEVER. Life is unfair,so we have to accept the unfair edge! The question that i want to know the answer the most is When will i be matured enough to be independant ?

Patiently i stand by here,the days goes by just in a blink of an eye. Time really passes so so so fast where words are unspoken and hearts are often broken. Each and everyday i am trying to find my innerself. Hoping one day it will be found !